If you ask me, how to? I would advice you to: get introduced, be humbled, open, and friendly and most of all just be yourself. Authenticity is king since nobody wants to waste his time with talking to a fake.
It might also help if you ask yourself why do you want to access this multifaceted, mystical construct called “Society” at all. If you have found your personal answer, you also know, whom of your friends to approach in order to introduce you to your favourite society.
Surely the wrong approach would be to challenge yourself with great expectations, to sneak around celebrities and to try to invade private discussions of your “target”people.
What used to be regarded as common culture and minimum sense of respect seem to be nowadays forgotten by many self-acclaimed high-level networker. Well guys it is Christmas-time, the time of love and friendship. Remember: Your relations (your assets) only prosper, if you take the people you are communicating (dealing) with seriously and treat them as human beings.
Maybe the following anecdote from a friends Christmas cocktail helps to underline my point.
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Munich, 19th of December 2008
What started as an AA* invitation turned out to be an intimate AAA gathering of Munich's A list + Entourage.
Thanks to the shining hosts A and A* the Christmas Cocktail has been a very interesting evening. A perfect mix of a fabulous venue (interior design by PB), impressive collection of contemporary art (I adore the video installation in the hallway), excellent catering (by K&K) and outstanding ((U)HNW) individuals.**
The hosting couple did a good job in introducing the guests. The well-tempered Champagne did a great job to keep them talking. Being a Single guest with lots of acquaintances around (most of them eager to make high-level contacts), it is not easy to identify the right conversation partner. Therefore after greeting the hosts and saying hello to my friends I sat down at a table to enjoy the delicious food.
Luckily a couple joined the table and being aware that we met before (in this life) we even could remember the occasion. It was a charity event with a movie-presentation of my table neighbour´s autobiographical book. We were very happy to continue our conversation which started 3 years ago. As a result this author agreed to become a visiting writer at this blog.
With this well-known writer on my side, our table slowly became very popular with other German celebrities like a publisher, a senior strategy consultant, a fuel company CEO and a TV- as well as a print media Colominst joining. (For a better understanding you can replace “a” with “the German”)
I was quite surprised to find another “sister in mind” on our table sharing my interest in social communication and high level networks. She told me that despite knowing nearly 90 percent of the guests, she feels herself not really being part of this society. I did not expect such a statement, but was very happy about the quality and honesty of our conversation. As we discussed network and systems theories we agreed that there is no “insider community” as such but an assembly of many highly remarkable individuals communicating and presenting themselves in more or less sophisticated ways.
What sounds now quite dry was indeed real fun. I had good and funny conversations with some old and maybe future friends. I met members of one of my facebook group “jiclub members and friends” and many funny stories made their way. One participant even spotted a guest who did charge his clients for the privilege to accompany him to the cocktail.
After some glasses of champagne, close to the end I could sense some kind of community, when the masks went down and the remaining guests communicated openly.
*A is the first letter of both first names of the inviting couple.
** As this blog focuses on access relations and social communication, I will not disclose details like guest list, rumours and latest gossip. This information might be found soon at http://bunte.de/
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Introduction is key to access relations at this level. It is not advisable to appear alone or with a companion, who totally absorbs your attention. If you do not get introduced by your friends, make sure to take a special person(ality) or even a celebrity with you. This improves the chances that the more interesting people are welcoming you.
If none of the above applies: Just be yourself and enjoy the perfect scenery.
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